


being in

by pahfoo



Category: The 100
Genre: Drabble, Episode: s02e10 Survival of the Fittest, Grounder Octavia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-24
Updated: 2015-02-24
Packaged: 2018-03-14 23:25:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3429347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pahfoo/pseuds/pahfoo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Indra offers Octavia a chance to train with her, and so a chance to belong.</p>
            </blockquote>





	being in

As Indra walks in, Octavia almost wishes (just for a fleeting moment and she’d stab anyone before she’d let them guess), that she was back under her floor on the Ark, but then she pushes the thought away and just asks the women standing next to her, what she wants. Indra barely acknowledges her question. She came to say something, and Octavia has found out that Indra generally will do what she came to do. (She likes that.) The grounder’s words are not unexpected, but harsh nonetheless.

 _Fought like a child._  The accusation hurts more than she wants to admit, and Octavia realizes that she wanted this woman’s respect, more than she thinks she’s ever wanted anyone, but Bellamy’s, respect. She’s not quite sure why though, and she sure as hell is not going to be ashamed. However she can’t muster much of a fight anymore either, so she just says:

“Ok, I know, I got my ass kicked. That should make you happy.”

The reply is not surprising,but the two little words ( _It does_ ) manage to hurt her all the same. She wished the other woman would leave, but then Indra continues, and the way her insides seem to swell with pride at her words is a secret Octavia intends to keep well hidden.

_Because you did not give up._

She doesn’t know if she even knows how to give up (her brother never saw giving up as an option and he has never let his little sister do it) and here on earth… Giving up is weakness. (And weakness is death.) All the same, Indra’s words resound within her, they touch a small part which she has been trying to hide away. (A part that says she doesn’t belong, like the one wheel of an automobile Bellamy once saw on the Ark. Someone must have brought that along with them from earth in secret. A remain from a different society – where giving birth to more than one child wasn’t a crime – but now outdated, useless, but still kept around.)

“I can make you a great warrior, Octavia of the sky people.” Indra says, but she is not done yet.

 _If you’re willing._ As Octavia ponders the warrior’s words, she remembers what she told her brother. “I’m a grounder” she’d said, but she had not really meant it, not like that. The truth was that she might know who she was, but she didn’t know what. She was an arker, who didn’t truly live, until she hit the ground. She hadn’t known what that meant for her, not until Indra gave her this offer. Although Indra still called her ‘sky girl’, she had offered to train her, take her under her wing. Sky people didn’t become seconds, Octavia knew that much.   
So she grabs her chance before the other woman leaves the room.

—

After Indra has left, Octavia feels almost good, for the first time since Bellamy and Lincoln left.  _Strength of spirit like that is rare,_ Indra had said. Octavia didn’t think that her spirit was anything new, but on the Ark having too much spirit could get you killed. She suspected that most of the 100 ended up on earth due to too much spirit. Octavia’s whole life (until her brother had opened the Dropship door and given her a new life) had been about hiding, being as small as possible, unnoticeable. Spirit wasn’t welcome, spirit would have gotten her discovered, gotten her mom killed. (It had gotten her mom killed. Whether it was Bellamy’s actions or not, Octavia knew she was the reason.) But on earth spirit kept her alive. Spirit had helped her rescue Lincoln (and now he was gone again), it had helped her survive, it had helped them all survive.

Frankly Octavia hadn’t cared much why Indra was doing this, and she hadn’t hesitated to accept. Now Octavia repeats what she’d told Bellamy, and what she’d told Indra, to herself and it feels like a guarantee, like a promise.  _I’m a grounder, I’m in._


End file.
